


let your hair hang down

by comeseetheduck



Series: join us / giantverse [6]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Again, Baseball, Coming Out, Crossdressing, F/F, Misgendering, Newspapers, Outing, Trans Girl Marco Diaz, Trans Marco Diaz, cheerleading, fizzy lemonade, magical adventures gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-09-26 14:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17143406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeseetheduck/pseuds/comeseetheduck
Summary: let your hair hang down / it is now the time / to untie your hair / let your hair hang downit's time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _why do we resemble concrete? / did we order all these rain clouds? / who overturned the party cart? / who said to stomp the fire out?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: okay maybe if i get this whole thing done at once and then just release it it'll be received more generously  
> me: so i'll just write it bit by bit and then eventually get it all done and just submit it  
> me:  
> me:  
> me:  
> me: ah that's not going to happen

Just like several other Earth customs, learning the rules of how things work doesn’t really work because it’s never as simple as people pretend it is. When you greet people, sometimes it’s okay to shake hands and sometimes it’s incredibly rude. Libraries are places to be quiet, except for sometimes when it’s okay to be loud, but only in certain rooms, sometimes. Sometimes the grocery stores have the really good drink with the marshmallows but sometimes it doesn’t, and they won’t tell you when it’s coming back. And sometimes you think a person is a boy but it turns out that they’re not and they were a girl the whole time. Sometimes, even that’s not true. Sometimes people are neither and sometimes people are more than one thing. Or they’re nothing at all. 

It’s all awfully confusing to Star, which is why she’s lucky that she has a great girlfriend who’s willing to help her sort through all of the resources that she could find and help simplify the confusing world of gender politics.

As the next in line to the crown, she had never had to spend any time thinking about what gender was or what it meant. She was who she was and everybody was okay with it. Well, outside of the property damage. The idea that a person wouldn’t be okay with who a person was because of what Janna called “the Puritan notions of humanity” were baffling. Just another thing to add to the list of things that confused her, right next to curling and not being allowed to race carts inside of grocery stores.

Janna managed to spare Star from the most upsetting bits of the research, but it still took a toll on Star. Although it hadn’t been apparent to Star why Marco was so hesitant to tell her she was a girl, looking at the statistics made it all make so much more sense. Marco had opened up to her more, at least in the next couple of days. She explained the way that hormone replacement worked, and even started wearing skirts at home. Star even started up looking up different names that Marco could use when she decided to switch her name.

School, on the other hand. School was different.

Being able to see Marco fully express herself at home made seeing her at school so much more awkward and painful. She was putting on a brave face, of course, but it was clear to Star that Marco felt stifled when acting in her roles as a typical sophomore boy. There was a sparkle in her eye that showed up whenever all four of them were on the roof talking about girl stuff, no matter how mundane it seemed to her. Those moments seemed few and far between. 

So, why not cheer her up? The princesses at St. O’s had wanted to thank Marco for her help for a while now and being in the communion of princesses sounded like just the thing to make her entire week. 

Just her and Marco. Like old times.

* * *

**October 16, 2016.**

It was a mistake. And by the time she figured out what the mistake was, it was already too late.

When she first started dating Janna she had gone to her mom for advice, for the first time in a long time. (Queen Moon had said as much.) And while the revelation that she was not dating Marco and instead was dating an Earth girl that Moon had never met was… daunting, Moon managed to not say anything at all about the political buzz saw whirring in her head. Instead, she gave Star a very simple piece of advice:

“Star, my darling, there will be times that you make mistakes with the people you love. The most important thing that you can do is to make things right.”

Well, she had actually said a whole lot of other things, too. But that’s what was ringing in Star’s head as Marco cut a portal back to her house. 

“Marco?”

She looks back at Star, and the tiredness nearly drips off of her face.

“I’m sorry.”

Marco almost laughs.

“It’s okay. There was no way you would have known.” 

Star hesitates as Marco steps through the portal, but as Marco enters her room she pauses, and after a brief moment Star steps through right behind her. The two stand together in Marco’s room as the portal closes, and Star tries to find the right words to say. Marco looks at her, and says “it’s okay” again, more softly this time, in an attempt to hold out an olive branch. Star leaves the room, still trying to figure out what the right thing to say was during a moment that had already passed. Only a few moments after the door closes, she hears Marco drop to the floor and breathe one of those shaky breaths that you only have right before the dam two inches from the front of your head is about to burst, and she walks away knowing that there’s nothing that she can do about it. 

There are few feelings worse than powerlessness.

* * *

**October 18, 2016.**

For Marco, school is simple. Get through the day, avoid getting in trouble. That’s it. 

That’s why she doesn’t say anything when the boys in gym class decide that it’s a good idea to split the baseball teams into boys vs girls. That’s why she doesn’t say anything when she gets sorted with the boys. That’s why she doesn’t say anything when Ferguson has her be his catcher and why she says nothing as Ferguson strikes out the batters with ruthless efficiency. While there was nothing technically wrong with it, the way that Ferguson gloated about the strikeouts just seemed to be… in poor taste.

It’s not like she was good at baseball either. Being on the girls’ side of this wouldn’t have helped anyone. Maybe Ferguson would be less of a jerk when striking out one of his best friends.

_As if Ferguson would still be friends with her if he knew that she was a girl._

Next up to bat is Brittney, who looked almost pissed off when she grabbed one of the aluminum baseball bats after another Ferguson strikeout and overblown gloating session. 

“Ooh, looks like someone’s mad that I’m the best at baseball! Your little cheerleader troop isn’t here to help you this time!” Ferguson always had a big head, especially when he was winning in Deadly Konflict, but even this was a lot for him. Maybe it was just that he was now, for a fleeting moment, the top of the food chain in a class where he normally was at the bottom of the barrel. In any case, Marco wanted nothing to do with it. 

“Oh, shut up, birdbrain.”

“You dare question the _God_ of _baseball?_ ” Ferguson’s voice goes into full theatrics, and Marco laughs just loudly enough for Brittney to hear it and give her an absolute death glare that shuts her up immediately. 

“Listen, Dorito. If you strike me out, I’ll go out on a date with you. If I hit a home run, then you and both of your dingus friends-” she points at Alfonso in the outfield and Marco behind home plate “-have to be cheerleaders for the big basketball game. Full skirts and _everything._ ” 

Everything after that moment, in Marco’s head, went in slow motion. Almost like she had already seen it happen before, or something. 

The way that Ferguson naively and immediately agreed. 

The way that Brittney smirked.

The way that Ferguson wound up and threw an absolute scorcher of a fastball right down the middle. 

The way that Brittney swung the bat, first with a deadly set step, and then with a vicious follow-through. 

The way that the ring of the bat hung in the air.

The way that Alfonso’s jaw drop was visible even from the plate.

The way that Brittney stood after the swing, holding her position as the students behind lost their minds before relaxing, pointing the bat at Ferguson, and shouting “after school at 3” before chucking the bat towards the back stop.

So much for not getting into trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are these fics going to just get longer and longer GDT style?
> 
> maybe.
> 
> as tradition, song recs:  
> [Untitled] by mewithoutYou is an absolute beast of an album. since the last installment i really got into the Open Mike Eagle album 4NML HSPTL. but honestly all I want to do is talk about Into the Spider-Verse. go watch Into the Spider-Verse. half the reason that i'm splitting this into chapters is now I have an excuse to write another Spider-Verse fic


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _do we have to drag the drag around, is that the plan? / can't we leave the barking dogs and join the caravan?_

**November 5, 2016. 8:05 PM.**

_Pause._

_Deep breath._

_Exhale._

 

_This could be a mistake._

_How many other options are there? You have to put an end to this, and this is the best way to do that._

_Is it though?_

_Listen. You’ll walk in there, talk to Jackie, and then everything will be fixed. Nothing can possibly go wrong._

_Brittney Wong is never nervous._

* * *

Jackie’s in the living room watching television when she hears the three quick raps at the door. She skips to the door, fully expecting to find Marco standing at the door doing one of her patented gestures of spontaneous romance. So when the door opens and standing in front of her is Brittney Wong, dressed to the nines per the usual, Jackie feels underdressed. Between this and that haze of not having spoken with another person in an uncomfortably long time, it takes a second for Jackie to say hello. Brittney seems unprepared as well - is she staring? - but responds with a hello that sounds less friendly and more… diplomatic.

“Come on in, sorry about the mess - hold on a second while I get some real clothes on…” Jackie speedwalks up the stairs towards her room while her face and everything else becomes uncomfortably warm. She throws off her pajama top and starts sorting through her drawer, trying to figure out what shirt and which sweatpants she should wear - _why do I even care?_ she asks herself. _Brittney doesn’t even have anything on me._

After changing, she walks back into the living room to find Brittney sitting in front of the television, idly watching the characters on screen argue with each other. Not wanting to interrupt her, Jackie walks into the kitchen before shouting “Do you want anything to drink?” over her shoulder. Even with Brittney’s polite reply of “I’m good, thanks,” Jackie pulls out two sparkling lemonades and hands one to Brittney when she gets back to the living room. Brittney says a quiet thank you as Jackie turns off the television and then sits on one of the arms of the couch.

“Haven’t talked to you in a while.”

“Yeah.”

“Not since…”

“Yeah.”

“...yeah.”  Jackie’s face heats up thinking about their drunken encounter, and she can almost see the hint of a blush on Brittney’s face as well. She clears her throat.

“What do you want, Brittney?”

Brittney stands up and collects herself, transforming from a person that seemed slightly off-balance and unsure to the charisma machine that she tended to be. “I’m assuming that you know about your boyfriend doing cheer leading.”

“Yeah, Marco told me about that. Something to do with a dare during gym class, but I haven’t heard much else about it.”

“It was supposed to be him _and_ his dweeb friends. I was just going to have them come out in the skirts, have a laugh about it… but then Marco was the only one of those boys to show up. Ends up actually learning the whole routine really well.” Brittney conspicuously flips her hair. “He learned it all so well that the team voted to let him get the lead spot. Well, the co-lead. Along side me.”

Jackie smirks, and Brittney’s confidence cracks a little bit. “I know what you’re thinking, Jackie Lynn Thomas. You think that I’m just a selfish stuck-up bitch who’s mad that she’s not the only good cheerleader on the squad anymore.”

“That was part of what I was thinking.”

“Listen, I can deal with not being in the spotlight all the time. That’s not what I came here to tell you about.” Brittney moves towards Jackie, and her voice drops to a stage whisper. “So when a couple of days ago the team votes that Marco should be at the head of the routine, after practice I tell him that we can get him a male cheerleader outfit, right? Because as much as making a fool out of him would be funny, it would also makes us look bad. And then he straight up refuses? Saying that I said that he had to do it in the skirt and that he was going to do it in the skirt. So then I say that if he does that, then people are going to think that he’s a girl. And then he says that maybe he _wants_ people to think that.”

“Marco told you this?”

“Yeah. What I need you to do is to talk some sense into your boyfriend.”

“Hold on.” Jackie hops off the couch, runs to the laundry room, and dials Marco on her phone. After a few rings, Marco picks up.

“What’s up, Jackie?”

“Hey Marco, Brittney came to my house. Apparently you came out to her?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“What the fuck?”

“I don’t know, Jackie. I’ve just been… so tired recently. And even though I have all of the Princess Turdina stuff, it just felt like a weight on me. So I’m gonna let it all go. I don’t care who does or doesn’t like it, I’m just… I’m gonna be me.”

Jackie can feel tears welling up in her eyes. “Marco, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Listen, I gotta go. I’m getting interviewed by Andrea for the school paper. They’re going to do a whole article about it so that I don’t get bombarded with questions.”

“Just make sure that you remember the little people after your big break,” Jackie chuckles.

“Oh, and there’s one more thing that I wanted to tell you, but I want to do it in person. I’ll come over later tonight, okay?”

“Yeah, can’t wait. Go back to your interview!”

“Yeah. Bye!”

“Bye!”

After hanging up the phone, Jackie slowly and deliberately walks back into the living room, where Brittney is drinking the sparkling lemonade that Jackie had given her earlier. Brittney stands up and walks to the door. “I assume that you dealt with this?”

Jackie smiles as Brittney walks outside. “Yeah, I talked to Marco. Turns out that I’ll be at the game tomorrow, too. I can’t wait to watch my _girlfriend_ be part of the cheerleader routine.”

Brittney gapes at Jackie. “What?”

“Yeah, Marco’s a girl. I mean, I’ve known for a couple of months, but I guess now she’s letting everybody else know.” Jackie could almost see the gears turning in Brittney’s brain. “Also, if you even attempt to pull anything to hurt my girlfriend, then I can tell you this much: I’m real good at keeping secrets…” In a single move, Jackie closes the distance between her and Brittney so that their faces are almost touching- “...but I don’t _have_ to be. See you tomorrow.”

With that, Jackie closes the door, leaving a very flustered Brittney standing outside on her front porch. Jackie, after exhaling, pulls out her phone and shoots off a text message:

Jackie: holy shit Marco you are not gonna believe what I just did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gn msdnvksnglw;jgnwakenfsadngvgwekjgbwejbwagbksagjkbw3j;awebgweja;tbweatjbk;weagj;bwea Star vs. writers throwing wrenches into my fic plans by giving Jackie a canon girlfriend was... not what I expected but! even though I don't watch the show as much so much of the ideas in the show sound like fun and the people that comment on these works keep me motivated with writing this series. part three is probably out relatively soon, but considering that this took... four months before i was able to actually write it, i can only say that it'll be less time than that before the final chapter of this part of this story. no promises though.
> 
> music recs!
> 
> MIKA's album No Place in Heaven fucked me all the way up. I had to stop listening to it the first go round because I didn't feel like sobbing at 2 in the morning.  
> the Going Steady album さくらの唄 is kind of amazing and on Spotify.  
> recently I saw AJJ live. Knife Man is an album that ebbs and flows wrt how much I like it but right now I really like it. Also the song Personal Space Invader is lowkey my anthem at the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _let the wrong be wrong / would it be so bad? / when your hair's so long / when you look so sad / let your hair hang down_

**November 5, 2016. 8:15 AM.**

As a boy, the girls locker room is the Holy Grail.

Her first time inside of the Holy Grail was a fully anticlimactic experience, as all of her classmates were shuffled into the locker room during an earthquake drill. The boys, of course, hooped and hollered at the chance to see the place where a very popular television show suggested that “the magic happened” – isn’t it ironic? – but her first thought was about how ordinary it was. The same beige lockers filled the room in a nearly identical layout to the locker room that she was familiar with. Sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, surrounded by her classmates, she imagined what it would be like if she was using this locker room. She had great friends, of course, but all of the boy talk in the other locker room got grating sometimes. One of the boys, Jared, talked about how cool it would be if he was invisible – how he would sneak into the locker room while the cheerleaders were changing. The lights flickered back on, and she took a good, hard look at her hands – her sweaty, dirty, boy hands – and wiped them on the sides of her gym shorts while wiping that idea from her mind.  

The locker room shows up in her dreams, turned from a plain box for changing into gym uniforms to a swamp, with wispy smoke pouring underneath bathroom stall doors and dark light pouring through the slits on each of the lockers. It’s not a nightmare like the ones she used to have, or at least there’s no way that she would know whether or not it’s one of those old nightmares because before the dream can develop into something nightmarish, she’s woken up by a text.

_[unknown sender]: this is Brittney. the cheer team is meeting in the girls locker room at 3_

She looks at the message twice, making sure that she’s read it correctly, before putting her phone down and rolling back over.

“Psst. Jackie.”

Jackie’s hair covers her face like a waterfall, and her nostrils twitch as she breathes in her sleep. The sunlight filtering into the room makes her hair shine almost unnaturally bright, and the aquamarine strip in her hair is very nearly glowing. It’s one of the most beautiful things that she’s ever seen.

“Jackie!”

She shakes Jackie until, with a shake of her head and an obnoxious yawn, Jackie sits up.

“Good morning, _Miss Diaz._ ”

“ _Good morning_ , Miss Lynn-Thomas. Did you give Brittney my phone number?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“Well, she just sent me this text.”

Jackie picks up her phone and reads the text. Her face scrunches as she rereads the text, before sitting up. “Hold on, let me make sure it’s the right number…” Jackie rolls off of the bed, and turns over her discarded sleeping bag from the night before. Her phone slides onto the ground, and she picks it up and begins to quickly flip through her list of contacts.

Jackie’s list of phone contacts is always longer than she remembers it being. Other than her dad, it’s mostly people that cozied up to her while she was within the Inner Circle of middle and high school. Not that it was something that was officially decided upon by anybody in particular – but everybody knew.  And while her circle of friends had arguably shrank in the year and a half since she first met Star Butterfly, she found herself happier. At least, she was pretty sure that what she was feeling was happiness. It came in direct contrast to the feeling of seeing scores of people that she didn’t talk to anymore. Or maybe they didn’t talk to her.

 “Yep, that’s Brittney.”

“What do you think Brittney wants from me? Maybe she’s kicking me off the team.”

“Or maybe I scared her enough that she’ll make you the captain of the team,” Jackie quips as she gets back into the much-too-small bed. “By the way, until you pick your name officially, I should stick with Marco, right?”

“Yeah, just for now. I’ll tell everybody soon, I promise.”

Jackie attempts to keep a straight face but can’t help but bursting into giggles. Marco glares daggers at her girlfriend for making fun of her being vulnerable. At the glare, Jackie attempts to keep a straight face, but Marco’s pouting only makes the whole situation funnier to her. “The last time I heard that it took you almost two months to come out to Star.”

“Jackie…”

“Two! Months!” 

* * *

**November 5, 2016. 2:55 PM.**

Marco didn’t love school, or being in the high school building, but there was still an eerie quality walking through the empty hallways. It all felt empty. The open air walkways were okay – at least there you would be able to hear the sound of wildlife or the flapping wings of dragonflies, be able to smell the sea breeze if you concentrated enough. The outdoor air would brush against your skin, and you would be able to feel the humidity breathing against your eyes. Inside, without the hustle and bustle of teenagers worrying about school projects and winter dances, the only sounds were her own sneakers squeaking against the tile floors. The only smells were plain sanitizers and maybe hints of dust from spots overlooked by the janitorial crew. The air itself sat quietly, almost judgmental, as if to say “I know what you’re about to do.”

There were very few moments where she wondered if she was wrong about everything. Not only was she coming out to the entire school the next day, before she did _that_ she was going to do an entire cheerleading routine in front of everyone who showed up to tonight’s basketball game. And if anybody was going to go to a basketball game, it would be this one.

This wasn’t a rivalry match like the games with Silver Hill – this was the game against the Piedmont Pipers, who had players that would often go on to play professional basketball. While none of the matches against them were ever close, there was no animosity between the two teams. The Opossums of Echo Creek would try their best and have fun while the Pipers wiped the floor with them, and everybody in the stands would have a blast while it happened. On top of that, this was always the match where the cheerleaders revealed their finished dance routine. And she was going to be right in the center of it, in the spotlight, in front of everyone –

She pauses in front of the girl’s locker room. She reaches out to open the door, but then pulls her hand back, as if going inside would cause her face to melt off. It kind of feels like her face is going to melt off. She can barely hear the bass of the song playing inside of the boombox presumably sitting on top of one of the lockers along with the offkey singing of Chantel.

_Maybe I should leave and pretend that this never happened._

Right before she could make a choice, the door opened, and standing right in front of her was Brittney Wong. She stared at Marco for a few seconds, the two of them like twin statues, before Brittney broke the silence, motioning towards a mirror set up in the corner of the room. “Come on, Marco. We don’t have all day.” It’s not enough to make Marco’s nervous expression disappear but it is enough for her to step into the locker room.

Brittney points to a plain chair in front of the mirror, and Marco tentatively sits down. Behind her, underneath the talking of all the other cheerleaders, she hears a bag unzip, and then the sound of a case opening. She tries to look in the mirror to see exactly what Brittney is doing, but when she realizes that though the reflection of the mirror she can see the silhouettes of the other cheerleaders changing, she averts her gaze directly into her hands resting on her lap. Quickly, the noises stop, and then Brittney walks in front of her and snaps her fingers twice. Marco lifts her head.

“Okay so, we don’t have very much time, but I think I can make this work.” She sorts through her collection of foundation, and when she finds a match she starts placing it on Marco’s face. “Usually we each do our own makeup, but I figure that you don’t have very much practice with it, so it’ll just work better if I do it for you. Stay still.” Marco doesn’t say anything, but she can feel the warm bubbles rising in her chest.  

The process of putting on makeup is surprisingly intimate. Brittney doesn’t say much for a majority of the time, but when she gets very close to Marco’s face, she can see the way that she squirms in her seat. The silence and guilt are nearly unbearable, so when she’s almost finished with the makeup, she decided to speak.

“Marco, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Me and Jackie.”

At this point, most of the cheerleaders have left the locker room, which means that Brittney’s voice echoes against the empty lockers. Marco sits silently.

“Jackie told you what happened, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I figured.”

Marco tenses underneath the weight of this silence.

“Look, I thought that – I just had to do what I had to do, you know? To be able to make it. And it wasn’t fair to you, to go behind your back like that, but I thought that I needed to do it. And it wasn’t fair to you, so… I’m gonna try to make it up to you.” Brittney backs away from the mirror, and Marco’s finally able to look at the work that Brittney did. It’s subtle, but there – Marco’s face looks as if it’s literally glowing. “That’s not all – I got your uniform made for you, too.” When Marco sees it, she gasps – in contrast to the white and orange of the main uniforms, hers is a deep black and a fiery orange. “It’s time for you to be the star, at least for today–“

Before Brittney can even finish her sentence, Marco pulls her into a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“Please don’t cry. Your makeup will run.”

* * *

**November 5, 8:30 PM.**

At the end of the Echo Creek Academy cheerleader routine, Marco stands in the middle of the group, hands raised above her head, heavily breathing as the crowd goes absolutely wild. In that crowd, she can see Star and Janna standing next to each other, whistling and shouting from the upper deck of the bleachers. She also sees Jackie standing near the edge of the court, waving frantically to her. She smiles at both of them. She’s as free as a bird.

Brittney stands next to her, and nudges Marco gently so that she can take another bow. While part of her still wishes that she had taken the spotlight, the other part of her is glad that her secret - the one that could ruin everything - is still between her and Jackie.

In the shadows of the gym, barely noticed by anyone else in the school are two separate figures. 

One of them watches in wonder with three eyes.

The other takes careful notes before pulling out a pair of scissors and disappearing into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 1 of this series is almost finished. the next part is Celebration. i might combine all of these individual works into chapters of a big work. idk if that's worth it though. maybe just go through, add stuff, edit some bits. idk. 
> 
> music time.
> 
> new clipping. is good. Nothing is Safe. great song.  
> i imported both of the GOING STEADY albums on CD and BOYS & GIRLS is way better than i thought it was originally.   
> have i plugged Mitski? Mitksi is good at music.   
> i guess most of the new music I've listened to is from Splatoon - the High-Cover Memorial Mixtape made me cry. several times.


End file.
